Written by Oluchukwu Blessing

Title: The God You Serve Is In Your Kitchen

[SCENE START]

(The video opens on a SPEAKER sitting at a simple table. They look directly at the camera, no smile, no greeting. Their expression is one of profound disappointment, like they are about to stage an intervention.)

SPEAKER: (Voice is calm, but heavy with judgment)

Let's talk about the god you serve every night

No, not the one you sing to on Sunday, I’m talking about the one you worship at 10 PM, the god of Pounded Yam, the god of Eba, with stew and ewedu that has five different kinds of orisirisi.

You will finish two wraps, wash it down with a cold bottle of Pepsi and then drag yourself to bed, breathing like you just finished a marathon

Then you wake up in the morning, groaning like an old generator, holding your back in pain

(Scoffs, shaking their head.)

And what do you do? You go to church and start shouting: "Every spirit of pot belly, I bind you! Arrow of sickness, go back to sender! Any wave of body pain that the enemy has sent my way to destroy me, I dismantle you!, Malayeba raka suntaba pinna motoro kotoro silemi tara bosa(speaks in toungue)!"

(Leans forward, lowering their voice to a sharp, intense whisper)

Are you being serious? You want to dismantle spirit when you can't even walk for 2mins because your knees are weak.....hahahahaha

You are praying against the harvest that you planted with your own hands. Does it make sense?

You keep saying, "I'll start my diet on Monday" Which Monday? The one in 2035?

You are always tired, always bloated with constant body pains. Your blood is slowly turning to sugar syrup and you are blaming your village people

(The speaker pauses, lets the accusation hang in the air, then sighs with a "what-can-I-do" kind of frustration)